I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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