I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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