Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize