Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
