My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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