so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
