i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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