the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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