I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
