Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
