don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
