I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
