oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
