I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just found puke in my bra..
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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