You're a womanizer and a bitch.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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