Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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