Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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