My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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