Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
