did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
