There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
