Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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