I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
