She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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