so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
my being single is dangerous.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
