My hand turned me down
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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