I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
