dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
