Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Barsexuality is the new black.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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