theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
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