fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
