I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
