I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
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