I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize