I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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