the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
