Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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