the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
