Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
