Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
