why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
