ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
