sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
