well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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