he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
