Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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