Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Are my feet made of real feet?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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