There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I love you. Go after that dick
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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