when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
