she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
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