I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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