I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Randomize
