will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
