ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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