Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
