i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
