Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
